"Hanging Fire" Response

Today in humanities class we read "Hanging Fire" by Audre Lorde. I was surprised when discussing this poem how almost every single person who talked about it had a different perception of what it meant. I have trouble figuring out what this poem means, only because it could mean so many things. "Hanging fire" seems like a stream of thoughts of a stressed and depressed fourteen year old girl. After reading this poem I think of a girl who is sick that lives below the poverty line that longs to be loved by her mother.

In the first stanza of this poem when she says, "the boy I cannot live without
still sucks his thumb in secret
how come my knees are always so ashy”?
It makes me think of something tragic like a sickness spreading in a town. Maybe she is sick and her skin is becoming ashy because of this. If something horrible had happened this might be why the boy she likes is sucking his thumb; because he is afraid. A sickness spreading would also make sense because in another part of this stanza she wonders what would happened if she died over night. This could also be related to sickness spreading, possibly it is a sickness many people are dieing from.

In the poem "Hanging Fire" Audre closes every stanza with the words "and momma's in the bedroom with the door closed." This could mean many things; maybe it means that she doesn’t think her mom cares about her. Maybe her mom is dead, sick, or on drugs; maybe her mom is neglecting her. She could be wondering if she died or committed suicide if anyone would notice. I think it is up to you to decide what you think the author means by "and momma's in the bedroom with the door closed."

In the second stanza Audre again talks about death. This time she wonders what would happen if she would die before she graduated. She is worried what would people would say about her at her funeral. Maybe this girl had done something that she was ashamed of, and this was why her mother could have been neglecting. Or could she have done something shameful, because she was being neglected. In the second stanza she also talks about learning to dance, she mentions her room is too small for her. I think she wanted to learn to dance, but had no one to teach her or enough room in her bedroom to learn.

In the third stanza Audre Lorde speaks of no one listening to her side of the story. Maybe this is related to what she is ashamed of people talking about at her funeral. She seems jealous that a boy beat her on getting into the Math Team. It seems like Audre feels like a failure in most parts of her life and one of the area that she did feel successful in she had lost in. It seems like she feels the world in unfair to her. In the third stanza, Audre talks about things that are on her mind that she is stressed out about.

In every sentence Audre talks about death. She could mean that she feels like killing herself, but she never talks of suicide. Although Lorde does talk of death and all the things that are stressing her out. She always talks about death in a worried way as though she has no control over it "suppose I die before", "what if I die before", and "will I live long enough to". These do not seem like something someone would say if she was about to take her own life. This is why I think something is going on in her life that may be fatal and she cannot control. She could be experiences sickness or afraid of someone possibly killing.

This poem is very confusing; because I cannot tell what idea I should go with. I think Audre Lorde wrote this poem looking back on being a young teen. I believe she left it open ended so her audience can twist this story into a way that relates to them the best. Audre Lorde is a very gifted poet.