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For Thursdays suggested homework I posted on Jacalyn, Jackson, and Jackie's blogs. ;)

Vergissmeinnicht

Today in humanities class I read a poem by Keith Douglas written in 1943. For my homework I have written "a journal entry" of the man who is found dead in the poem.

It was no more than just a few months ago that I last saw my girl, Elise. I remember her golden blond hair tied with the a satin ribbon tied the last time I saw her. I said my final good-bye to her as I boarded the train to my military camp. This might have been the last time I would ever see her. I did not mention that to her, because if I did it would only upset her more. She made me promise to never for one moment on my journey forget her. She then placed a small photograph in a golden frame in my hands. This picture was of her and on it she had signed "Steffi. Vergissmeinnicht" or Steffi, forget-me-not.

Today, wherever I turn I see blood and heartache. The only thing that keeps me going is seeing this picture of her; one of the only things I can remember her by. Although the weather has only gotten hotter and dryer by every minute, this war has only become colder and more bitter. I miss my Elise more and more with every minute I am away. I have written many letters to her, but have only received one in response. This brief letter was filled with more happiness and joy than I can ever remember feeling. This is what it read-

My Dear Steffi,
I have missed every minute since you left me on that train station those few months ago. I will not be lonely for much longer, for when you come home you will be he father a newborn baby.
Love,
Elise

I long for the day when this war will end and I can go home to see my Elise and (for the first time) my baby boy. General says that in a few days we will moving to the "nightmare ground" where we will come to back up, in battle, a group of soldiers who are losing many men quickly. After this who knows where we will be going, will this war ever end?

-Stefan


The following is the poem "Vergissmeinnicht" by Keith Douglas-

Vergissmeinnicht

Three weeks gone and the combatants gone
returning over the nightmare ground
we found the place again, and found
the soldier sprawling in the sun.

The frowning barrel of his gun
overshadowing. As we came on
that day, he hit my tank with one
like the entry of a demon.

Look. Here in the gunpit spoil
the dishonoured picture of his girl
who has put: Steffi. Vergissmeinnicht.
in a copybook gothic script.

We see him almost with content,
abased, and seeming to have paid
and mocked at by his own equipment
that's hard and good when he's decayed.

But she would weep to see today
how on his skin the swart flies move;
the dust upon the paper eye
and the burst stomach like a cave.

For here the lover and killer are mingled
who had one body and one heart.
And death who had the soldier singled
has done the lover mortal hurt.

-- Keith Douglas

"Hanging Fire" Response

Today in humanities class we read "Hanging Fire" by Audre Lorde. I was surprised when discussing this poem how almost every single person who talked about it had a different perception of what it meant. I have trouble figuring out what this poem means, only because it could mean so many things. "Hanging fire" seems like a stream of thoughts of a stressed and depressed fourteen year old girl. After reading this poem I think of a girl who is sick that lives below the poverty line that longs to be loved by her mother.

In the first stanza of this poem when she says, "the boy I cannot live without
still sucks his thumb in secret
how come my knees are always so ashy”?
It makes me think of something tragic like a sickness spreading in a town. Maybe she is sick and her skin is becoming ashy because of this. If something horrible had happened this might be why the boy she likes is sucking his thumb; because he is afraid. A sickness spreading would also make sense because in another part of this stanza she wonders what would happened if she died over night. This could also be related to sickness spreading, possibly it is a sickness many people are dieing from.

In the poem "Hanging Fire" Audre closes every stanza with the words "and momma's in the bedroom with the door closed." This could mean many things; maybe it means that she doesn’t think her mom cares about her. Maybe her mom is dead, sick, or on drugs; maybe her mom is neglecting her. She could be wondering if she died or committed suicide if anyone would notice. I think it is up to you to decide what you think the author means by "and momma's in the bedroom with the door closed."

In the second stanza Audre again talks about death. This time she wonders what would happen if she would die before she graduated. She is worried what would people would say about her at her funeral. Maybe this girl had done something that she was ashamed of, and this was why her mother could have been neglecting. Or could she have done something shameful, because she was being neglected. In the second stanza she also talks about learning to dance, she mentions her room is too small for her. I think she wanted to learn to dance, but had no one to teach her or enough room in her bedroom to learn.

In the third stanza Audre Lorde speaks of no one listening to her side of the story. Maybe this is related to what she is ashamed of people talking about at her funeral. She seems jealous that a boy beat her on getting into the Math Team. It seems like Audre feels like a failure in most parts of her life and one of the area that she did feel successful in she had lost in. It seems like she feels the world in unfair to her. In the third stanza, Audre talks about things that are on her mind that she is stressed out about.

In every sentence Audre talks about death. She could mean that she feels like killing herself, but she never talks of suicide. Although Lorde does talk of death and all the things that are stressing her out. She always talks about death in a worried way as though she has no control over it "suppose I die before", "what if I die before", and "will I live long enough to". These do not seem like something someone would say if she was about to take her own life. This is why I think something is going on in her life that may be fatal and she cannot control. She could be experiences sickness or afraid of someone possibly killing.

This poem is very confusing; because I cannot tell what idea I should go with. I think Audre Lorde wrote this poem looking back on being a young teen. I believe she left it open ended so her audience can twist this story into a way that relates to them the best. Audre Lorde is a very gifted poet.

You don't have to have everything to have everything!

"Hey Debbie, your sister's friend has a little sister about your age. Do you want her to come over?"
"Uhh sure..." I replied.
"Okay when your sister is done hanging out with her friends she will bring her over." It was the summer and I was going to be bored at home all evening, so I thought I might as well hang out with somebody. Suddenly I remembered how dirty my room was. I ran upstairs and started picking up the dirty laundry off my floor. A few minutes later my mom opened the door to my bedroom, "Debbie, I just wanted to tell you that your sister said that this girl's family lives very humbly. So she might be kind of shy" she said sincerely. "Huh" I thought to myself. "What does she mean by humbly" So I shyly asked my mom "What do you mean humbly?"
"Well..." she replied. "You know the gardeners for the association that we live in?"
"Yeah?"
"Those families live humbly."
I knew exactly what she meant when she said humbly. She had meant that they basically did not have very much. My mom exited my room and left me to keep cleaning before my guest arrived.

A little while later I heard my dogs barking and knew they were here. I rushed downstairs and met a Latino girl about the same age and height as me named Mariana. I wondered why mom had said what she said; she looked and dressed the same way I did. I took her into my room and we started talking about what school she went to. I still didn't see any major difference between us. Except the fact that (like most of my friends) went to public school, whereas I was home schooled. We kept talking for the rest of the couple hours she was here. We talked about school, movies, music, friends, and boys. By the time she had to go home we were like best friends, and I had forgotten everything my mom had said.

Some time later after visiting Mariana multiple times, I received an invitation to Mariana's older sister's Quinceanera. Between the time of receiving this invitation and the actual Quinceanera Mariana called to invite me for a sleepover the night before the Quinceanera. I talked to my parents and with their consent I went that Saturday night to sleepover at her house. When I arrived at her house I realized what my mother had meant by "lives very humbly". They had a house (on another person's lot) that was slightly larger than my own living room. I had great time that night nodding and smiling politely while Mariana's extensive family tried to speak to me in Spanish, during a before-the-Quinceanera party.

When the party started winding down I realized that not many people were leaving. Allot of people were staying over night to be there for the Quinceanera the next morning. What would usually have been a two-bedroom house with five people was now a two-bedroom house with twelve people living in it. What really amazed me about that night was not my new understanding of crowded, but how much her family cared about one another. They literally treated me like part of the family. The next morning even with all the hustle and bustle of people getting ready for the Quinceanera I was never once pushed aside to get ready for the Quinceanera. When I found that I would not be able to wear my dress to the Quinceanera, Mariana lent me her dress that she was going to change into for the reception. The family even did my hair and let me ride in the limo. I stood amazed as I saw how this family never once got in an argument or stop treating each other with respect on this stressful day.

A couple months later I was informed that Mariana's family had moved away to be with some more family. Since that day of the Quinceanera I have come to realize that although Mariana's family may "live humbly" on the outside on the inside her family had everything they could possibly need.